CEO!

The weather is acting weird. It rained today in San Diego and we felt as if we were on the East coast somewhere. I am sleep deprived and feel a little like death warmed up:) And still I could do this for the rest of my life if I had to. I can probably only say this because I know everything does pass. All our Grandmothers have told us this at some point, "this too shall pass". Following what feels right, reading mothers blog sites and conversations, trying all kinds of different things to see what will help CQ sleep better after midnight. As soon as I figure it out things tend to change and what I have learned is to expect the unexpected and to give up control to the new CEO of the house, CQ.

September! I am looking at the past nine months and can see a transformation. I just realized I had my last Metamorphosis session in SA in January. I felt a great sense of awakening then, but these past couple weeks brought a new understanding, a feeling of empowerment. I am aware again how the world I perceive will always match my inner world. That my life and the creating of this experience is my soul responsibility.

grapefruit

Having grapefruit this morning, the seasons are changing. It will always remind me of my grand mother Quinta, she loved the fruit and had this very special way of cutting it, she even had a special grapefruit knife. She had a unique way when peeling and cutting all fruit and she is probably part of the reason I love the fruit I love, apples, mango, pineapple, and grapefruit. Remembering this makes me aware of the influence we have on our kids eating habits. WOw what a responsibility, no wonder I'm happy to hang out with breast feeding only for the full six months, and then we start introducing solids and take of on the food journey, hopefully breastfeeding for a long time too. CQ is teething, so loves the texture of cucumber, apple and watermelon. I thought naming someone was a big responsibility, feeding I'll admit is daunting. ...Three deep cleansing breaths and we take the days as they happen.

5 MONTHS

CQ is sitting up and her second tooth just popped out, so what, tomorrow she's going to prom? Our cat is like a jealous toddler. Daddy is the best entertainment on the block, no one can make CQ laugh like her Pappa. The first time we heard her giggle I felt tears spring to my eyes, she was laughing so hard at the sound of mouth farts, tears were rolling over her sweet little cheeks. It was the best thing since I heard my brother laugh the first time, I was only 8 at the time, but was so touched I will forever remember the moment. Watching little ones take in the world around them brings colors, people everything into a new light and a fresh perspective.Making new friends seem to be so easy for her, well, I hope, I trust that there will be great ease interacting with other little people.

Okay...I need you all to start reading up on Metamorphosis, it's a wonderful sensible practice that creates balance, a philosophy and practice that could very probably bring this world back into a state of ease. I was introduced to it ten years ago during a time of tremendous change and tension in my life. I have since then benefitted from the practice. It's simple and profound. I believe CQ came into this world with greater ease because of it and ever since I experienced giving birth the practice has come into a new light and I'm even more eager to share it. So check it out and contact me if you want to chat about it. I will probably be going on about it a decent amount in the future.

Dreams...

I'm on my couch trying to take a breather since CQ finally is down for a nap. If the dogs don't wake her with their barking I might have a couple hours to get a few things done. It's truly amazing how a day can pass you by and when you look back on it, its hard to tell what exactly got done. Baby care is a full time job! Even if they can entertain themselves for a minute or two, a watchful eye is necessary since they only become more agile and fast as time goes by. CQ is a true "rolly polly" as her dad calls her. So if I don't watch she is rolling under the couch or crawling backwards and lodging herself into an undesirable obstacle. She pushes herself into sitting position now, [this weeks advancement] and its too cute watching her do the most natural yoga moves that helps her limbs get strong so that she can push up into a proper crawl.


I am challenged with facing myself and what I dream about, funny how once I start truly asking some tough questions how the universe tends to help find answers. For example I opened my email yesterday while I'm grappling with what I dream about these days and what it means to really live a dream. In my inbox I find an email from a group that a friend signed me up for that directs me to the dream movement, I find myself reading and listening to Marcia, this is strange because I normally have such resistance for these type of things online. Yet I find myself enthralled and inspired at the same time. I have been dealing with the death of a dream I realize, I might be in mourning while I am discovering the new dream that is springing to life inside of me. I am excited and nervous and filled with debilitating fear at times, but then there is always someone or something that will cross my path or inbox to get me going and kick start me into action. I am surrounded by motivators and inspired friends and I am grateful!

THE FULL MOON

20 WEEKS
CQ is twenty weeks old today, entering the second half of her 4th month of being a person! She has made me aware of three things while she is learning her body: 1-Patience while 2-Practicing anything equals a 3-Power to flow freely. Pretty basic but so cool to witness in this way, and for some reason its really hitting home for the first time:)


The full moon was epic this past week and every woman I spoke to felt the Lunar effect. The Moon! I love how connected it makes me feel, when I feel hormonal, energized(or not) and I look at the sky or my lunar chart and realize its full moon.

BLOGGING

I have been so distracted by CQ and life in SoCal. Its sunny most of the time, the beach beckons so we have had visitors non-stop. Its bin a summer filled with laughter, laughing and then crying and laughing some more. Dreaming plenty since life seems filled with new possibilities at the hands of a 4month old.
The need to blog has been there, but I have not prioritized it into my schedule and so it has been left on the to-do list for a few months now.
I watch CQ work at mastering new movement, even in her sleep, until she figures it out. She is 4 months old and has a tooth, can sit up and roll back and forth, is about to crawl forward since going backwards just leaves her crying with frustration. She is one determined being and I recognize my father, and sister in her personality. We are having so many firsts and it's so fun to be witness of this life through a fresh set of eyes! Her first flight was a dream, she seemed excited to travel and explore and meet people. I will be blogging twice a week(mondays & fridays) from here on out so you can look forward to sharing this journey where ever it takes us.
Look at her:)

A CQ triggered musing

Ek gaan nou ongelukkig weer in Engels gesels. Want ons kan almal engels lees, en ek het 'n groot klomp familie en geliefdes in die wereld wat nie kan Afrikaans lees nie. Ek het dit so geniet om in my moeder taal te skryf. Ek besef in nabetragting die noodsaaklikheid daarvan. Iets van mens se moedertaal wat die oer ontwaak. Ek sal myself miskien nie kan help met tye nie. Maar hier is my nuutste gesig:


11 weeks surreally!?! The question: already? and also: only?
I am astonished at the idea of myself as a mother. I think the thing that really makes me do a double take at my life is the permanence of this choice, the influence and impact on the world an our existence as humans. I have the inclination to believe that with each person born into this experience we all help create, the world is forever changed, almost recreated.
Our very own butterfly effect.
My own life is experiencing a true 180 turn. Its as if I was allowed to bring only the truest part of myself, the part that really want to play this game when I entered through the birth of my daughter.
She is a soul-starer. And we have no where to hide.