34 WEEKS

I stand amazed at how babies, how humans develop and learn their bodies. I watch CQ like a hawk, mostly because she's so awesome. Her latest feat is standing hands free. She is squatting and getting up and reaching over, crawling faster than I walk at times, climbing over, under and up anything.

She becomes super excited when she stands and looks around to see who is witnessing her victory of the moment. It's incredible and inspiring to watch her determined body finally accomplish what she has been practicing for at least a month now.

She sings herself to sleep, giggles when you tell her a funny animated story, or eat her feet. She is up for trying anything that is on our plates, she drinks water with me out of my glass and enjoys her dad's smoothy with him in the morning. Her favorite food currently is probably mango, although she loves her avocado too and sweet potato is at the bottom of her list. Patience, the cat has finally come around and the two of them play together very sweetly, CQ will very gently pat at her and when she looses her balance she grabs and Patience runs of, mostly they just follows each other around the house, CQ calling out to her in her highest register, Patience standing guard outside her room when CQ sleeps. The adventure continues, everyday brings a fresh perspective.

See you later...

Calling out "See you later..." seems to lighten the farewell and help my mind rap it self around the idea of good bye's. My heart breaks a little every time I have to leave people I love. I hate missing out, it's not that I suffer from much fOMO(fear of missing out), it's only when people do and experience things without me that I loose my cool. Okay so I suffer from FOMO when it comes to my family.

Saying goodbye to long summer days, thunder storms and big clouds with terrifying lightning. Suddenly CQ is down for the night by 4:30pm and I haven't even given her, her last meal or bath. She woke up around 8:30pm and we attempted a bath and to feed her some oatmeal but she very adamantly and loudly made sure to let us know this is not okay, all she wanted was a little milk and to be left to sleep...agghh Maaaamaaa! I again realize that she truly sleeps and wakes with the sun. Days are short and nights are long...Suddenly getting up at 6am is no biggy, who would've thought. I have to shout out a profound "Thank you" to my Mother, my sister,

my brother, my family of amazing friends and CQ's Essie,

Kimmy,

LaLa,

aunties and

uncles and nieces and nephews.

I have no words that would do justice for all the generosity and love we received over the past five weeks. A memorable and gorgeous time in beautiful South Africa.

I give the other Thank you to my husband who very graciously kept our life running on this side of the world, with such ease and love, I stand in awe of him. The World can seem so big and the ocean a great separator, yet it seems we live in a global village and it's easy to stay tuned these days. You have to admit, when we apply our minds amazing things originate. MetaMama: "I am astounded at the amount of change all around, the transformation and passion that is reaching a cataclysmic triumph, forcing the world to create from its true source, it seems to me."

Missing her pApA...

Five weeks without her Dad, it makes my heart ache. We have been all over South Africa, from the Eastern Cape back to beautiful Jozi and finally we're in Franschhoek. Everywhere we go I'm reminded of him, I see CQ looking and listening when a man enters our strong female circle, looking for her pApA.

Watching the mountain as it changes its moods in seconds, spring storms keep us tucked in inside, I feel the moodiness of our separation starting to take its toll. I count our blessings as this strong feeling of longing for the love of my life reminds me of what we have and the depth and joy of it. It's a whole new journey to become a parent team, the adventure and responsibility of raising a family together is extraordinary to me, the ordinariness of many others doing it for eons of time does not seem real.

My Hart se Punt...

Trek Oos Kaap toe, Transkei toe. Die heuwels wat rol met alle kleure huise en mense, diere en die see. Soos ons land in Oos London, klop my kinder hart opgewonde en bly. Ek voel of ek huis toe kom. Al daai Desember vakansies wat ons aan die kant van Suid Afrika gekuier het. In Keimond het ons saam met ons tweeling niggies die aarde plat gespeel en ons 'domain geclaim'. Niks kon ons keer nie. Ek onthou min van my kinder dae, maar Desember vakansies in die Oos Kaap en Safaris in Afrika saam met my familie, is vars in my geheue. Ons land in die middag en elke slaggat oppad King Williams Town toe laat my nader voel aan hierdie deel van my Suid Afrika waar ek al mooi moes mik om die onaangelaste paaie wat na avontuur lei te volg. Dis landelik en ongerep. Die wildheid is wat meeste frustreer en ja, miskien as jy nie daagliks hoef te maak werk nie, is dit makliker om te romantiseer. Om van 'n baie gereguleerde deel van die wereld te kom waar als mooi in pas en min verstrooid is, voel die deel van my geliefde land soos 'n morsige soet lekker en die groen van die heuwels en die stukkende paaie en die aangelapte huise gee vir my heimwee. En CQ reageer op almal en alles met soveel liefde in haar glimlag, sy laat my hart pyn na haar pa, ek wens hy was ook hier om saam met ons te kuier en te geniet. Ons kuier 'n hond uit 'n bos uit by Twins, my niggie, Quinta se gastehuis waar ons baie bederf word en lekker op die stoep sit en opmaak vir verlore tyd.

CQ ry haar eerste perd op 29 weke. Sy is in die sewende hemel toe sy uiteindelik kans kry om ook op die ponie se rug te klim. Sy is vreesloos, rustig en so natuurlik met diere. Ek staan elke dag verstom met hierdie kind van ons. Ek is van vooraf bewus van die wonderwerk van menswees. Hoe klein en weerloos ons begin en met die liefde en versorging van ander word ons selfversorgende individue...amazing.

CQ & kids

I love seeing CQ respond to kids, even those in their teens, or when adults allow their inner kid to show. It's as if a light goes on and she sees something the rest of us can't anymore. Sparks fly and love fills the air. It is the sweetest sensation when she is in my arms and she spots another child across the room. Tell an older child that a baby likes them and you make their day.

What is it about babies? I don't know how to explain it other that calling it baby-magic. They seem to radiate with this unconditional sense of self that possibly remind us of our truest nature, I love and want to believe that we can all hone this energy and keep it alive no matter how old we are or what life throws at us, look in the eyes of a baby and see yourself.

MetaMama: "I become more and more aware that my outer world reflect my inner world. Look at how the world responds to a baby, generally it responds with love and light, if we can bring ourselves back to this balanced state of love, how will the world, our world respond? If we could accept unconditionally who we are our circumstance might just begin to resonate and create itself to match the sense of ease acceptance bring. When I desperately want something to change I accept it as is. Only once I truly accept what is as perfect and let go the need to have it different, change occurs.

Baby Magic

We arrived in South Africa, but it took two days flying across the globe. CQ was amazing and seemed to love world travel, she is nicknamed PR, since she will charm any one young and old within split seconds. She might be cranky and screaming at mom, but the moment a stranger shows up or she is looking over at the crowd her face change and she's all smiles, her happy self.

I have to admit, it was the longest flight of my life and I am so grateful Ouma Salome was on the journey with us. Sixteen hours on a plane with a six month old is no joke. Hours seemed like days. I only managed to watch two movies halfway, don't know why I even bothered and she was too big for a basinet, unfortunately, so use your imagination.

BABY MAGIC and COMMITTED SERVICE : When we arrived in New York, not my favorite airport to begin with, we made our way to terminal 4 to check in on our SAA flight to JHB. CQ asleep in the MOBY, we stood in line for a while. When we finally reached the check-in booth they couldn't find CQ in the system and wouldn't let us add this lovely infant to our flight without buying her fair again. This seems so ridiculous since we have her passport and proof that I am her mama... and we had proof of paying the fair already, we just didn't have her paper ticket(who issues paper tickets anymore??). I find it a little disconcerting that we had to pay as much as we did for an on the lap infant, no extra baggage and no extra seat, what are we paying for? Anyway... there we were, a little at a loss, when BABY did her MAGIC. Out of no where a beautiful woman stepped into the booth with great authority, she asked what the problem was and how she could help, she was a customer representative for SAA, on vacation. Dressed in all purple her shirt actually had "ANGEL" engraved on it, not kidding. After numerous phone calls to SA and some serious communication between the check-in booth and the ticket-booth, we were issued a new e-ticket for CQ. If I ever doubted BABY MAGIC, this moment confirmed it. SAA is a great airline, tops any of the American Airlines with their service, the mistake was made on the travel agents side unfortunately. We were impressed with the service we received from this wonderful women who stepped out of her vacation into work mode to help us out. Thank you ANGEL "S"!

CQ seems ecstatically happy to be with her family in South Africa. Her little body has to adjust to the sun coming up at a different time, but this seems easier for her than for the rest of us. It's in the middle of the night that she's not sure whether she's supposed to wake up or be asleep. She takes her naps with great ease, this is wonderful for mama and she continues to suck down her ROOIBOS TEA, it's definitely even better here in its land of origin, I'll be going home with a suitcase loaded with this "Miracle brew".

Any ideas or advice about moving onto solids with baby? This will be my next topic since we crossed the sixth month mark and started with some cereal and sweet potato.

the power of a name

I should tell you all about the naming ceremony we had for Charlotte Quinta ala CQ yesterday.

It was beautiful and sacred. The sky was shining blue and the sun was bright. We had the ceremony on the beach here in Carlsbad, surrounded by family and friends. CQ is a blessed little girl bestowed with love and support around the globe. It was 8pm in South Africa where the other half of her God-Parents and Guardians and family were sending love and prayers into the ether.

CQ has a powerful name, a family name, who would've thought. We heard the name, Charlotte, when my mom listed the names on our family tree, I had goosebumps all over and the sense that this was her name was so strong it was eerie. We knew she would have her Great Ouma's name as a middle name. Aunt Charlotte was the sixth daughter of her father Charl who decided to name her after him. Ouma Quinta and Aunt Charlotte was so close, they remained best friends and spoke their unique private language till they were beyond 80. It was confusing listening to their conversations and they would always end up giggling at us mysteriously. So it is only perfect to have their names forever side by side as CQ's name. It's powerful and I am proud of her name, knowing they were both remarkable women, forces to be reckoned with.

Charlotte - "Spry Witty Involved and Gentle"; "Strong Woman"; "Feminine". Quinta - "Questing Unbiased Daring", "The Fifth"