34 WEEKS

I stand amazed at how babies, how humans develop and learn their bodies. I watch CQ like a hawk, mostly because she's so awesome. Her latest feat is standing hands free. She is squatting and getting up and reaching over, crawling faster than I walk at times, climbing over, under and up anything.

She becomes super excited when she stands and looks around to see who is witnessing her victory of the moment. It's incredible and inspiring to watch her determined body finally accomplish what she has been practicing for at least a month now.

She sings herself to sleep, giggles when you tell her a funny animated story, or eat her feet. She is up for trying anything that is on our plates, she drinks water with me out of my glass and enjoys her dad's smoothy with him in the morning. Her favorite food currently is probably mango, although she loves her avocado too and sweet potato is at the bottom of her list. Patience, the cat has finally come around and the two of them play together very sweetly, CQ will very gently pat at her and when she looses her balance she grabs and Patience runs of, mostly they just follows each other around the house, CQ calling out to her in her highest register, Patience standing guard outside her room when CQ sleeps. The adventure continues, everyday brings a fresh perspective.

See you later...

Calling out "See you later..." seems to lighten the farewell and help my mind rap it self around the idea of good bye's. My heart breaks a little every time I have to leave people I love. I hate missing out, it's not that I suffer from much fOMO(fear of missing out), it's only when people do and experience things without me that I loose my cool. Okay so I suffer from FOMO when it comes to my family.

Saying goodbye to long summer days, thunder storms and big clouds with terrifying lightning. Suddenly CQ is down for the night by 4:30pm and I haven't even given her, her last meal or bath. She woke up around 8:30pm and we attempted a bath and to feed her some oatmeal but she very adamantly and loudly made sure to let us know this is not okay, all she wanted was a little milk and to be left to sleep...agghh Maaaamaaa! I again realize that she truly sleeps and wakes with the sun. Days are short and nights are long...Suddenly getting up at 6am is no biggy, who would've thought. I have to shout out a profound "Thank you" to my Mother, my sister,

my brother, my family of amazing friends and CQ's Essie,

Kimmy,

LaLa,

aunties and

uncles and nieces and nephews.

I have no words that would do justice for all the generosity and love we received over the past five weeks. A memorable and gorgeous time in beautiful South Africa.

I give the other Thank you to my husband who very graciously kept our life running on this side of the world, with such ease and love, I stand in awe of him. The World can seem so big and the ocean a great separator, yet it seems we live in a global village and it's easy to stay tuned these days. You have to admit, when we apply our minds amazing things originate. MetaMama: "I am astounded at the amount of change all around, the transformation and passion that is reaching a cataclysmic triumph, forcing the world to create from its true source, it seems to me."

Missing her pApA...

Five weeks without her Dad, it makes my heart ache. We have been all over South Africa, from the Eastern Cape back to beautiful Jozi and finally we're in Franschhoek. Everywhere we go I'm reminded of him, I see CQ looking and listening when a man enters our strong female circle, looking for her pApA.

Watching the mountain as it changes its moods in seconds, spring storms keep us tucked in inside, I feel the moodiness of our separation starting to take its toll. I count our blessings as this strong feeling of longing for the love of my life reminds me of what we have and the depth and joy of it. It's a whole new journey to become a parent team, the adventure and responsibility of raising a family together is extraordinary to me, the ordinariness of many others doing it for eons of time does not seem real.